Malaysian Driver

Friday, September 15, 2006

Screw You! Malaysians Aren't Rude!

Back in June, Readers Digest published an article which said, among others, that Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia won bronze in it's survey of the World's Rudest Countries. Yes, bronze means third place. Granted, only 35 cities were surveyed.

That being the case, the typically publicised Malaysian (read: "authorities'"); responses were predictable in their defence and denial. Who do they think they're kidding? Of course, there were also other high-pitched nattery posts ranging from claims of unscientific methods (how do you quantify "rudeness", exactly?) to outraged modesty to outright denial.

They missed the point. (And I might forgive them if they've never been to KL.) For once, it was a title we didn't want. (Everyone knows how we have the Biggest, Longest, Tallest, Smallest of everything ... or at least we like to think we do.) Not in this case. But what's the problem? We only ranked third. Not even "RUDEST". We're getting sloppy.

Point of the matter is that all one has to do to find rudeness in this country is take a drive. It doesn't have to be a long drive. It could be just around the corner. Which is exactly what I did today. And I wasn't disappointed. Far from it.

With that in mind, I finally decided to start my blog. I dedicate this to all the categories of Malaysian drivers there are, as well as those who think they're above categorisation. I also dedicate this to the wonderful efforts of the authorities who, though apparently well-meaning, have trouble designing intersections, and have probably never heard of a traffic light change interval, much less intelligent design. (Or was that "intelligent signs"? Probably both.)

I would like to state two things for the record.

Firstly, I am Malaysian. I was born here, I grew up here and now I live here. I love this country. There are so many great things about us. But our drivers isn't one of them. We have great roads (in KL, for the most part), but we forget that the work doesn't stop at the asphalt. I have effectively been collecting material for this blog my whole life, but specifically since I've had a drivers' license. In short, I'm as qualified as anyone to write this shit.

Secondly, it is not my intention to hurt your feelings. But I won't let that stop me from stating a fact, even if it is coloured with my opinion. If you drive with your feelings, you should probably see that your life insurance policy is up-to-date. I mean it. As a country we lack the ability (or platform) to express our negative emotions in a constructive manner (as if everything's always happy, right?), and that's something our beloved government has to address. (And I'm not talking about ISA.) See, we undoubtedly have bad drivers, but after thinking about it for a few seconds, it's plain to see that the blame cannot fall entirely on them. (Sure, it's their mother's fault.) But seriously, the rakyat is only half of the equation. I alluded to the other half earlier.

And before anyone else says it, I'm not comparing Malaysian drivers with drivers of any other country any more than I'm comparing them against ourselves. The thing is, WE KNOW what the indicator is for. WE KNOW we should use it, even. (Knowing what it's for and using it for the intended purpose are two different things, and WE KNOW THEM BOTH.) WE KNOW what double continuous lines mean. WE KNOW what we should do at a red light. WE KNOW ALL THIS. We just don't use that knowledge. (Somebody tell me what stupid means, again?)

There are some other things I want to say, but now I haven't the time.

I will, however, say that I have found the winner of the A-hole of the Month award that I invented today. (And it's only the 15th of the month, Woohoo!) ... coupled with a number of minor Pr*ck of the Day awards that some people insisted on. More on that later, complete with plate numbers. (Hey, they're there for a reason, right? Though in Malaysian tradition I might consider censoring some of them ... because they may possibly have had a legitimate reason for being so (e.g. chain-saw accident, wife in labour, child swallowed pesticide thinking it was daddy's lihing ... things like that), and I wouldn't want to subject them to further abuse.)

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